Well, I finally finished the world map I wanted to put in my daughter's room. It's been quite the journey for me. It hasn't always been that easy to do my work. Everyday I find myself asking, how can I get more time to make art? Then I find myself feeling guilty for all the usual things that mom's feel guilty for. Then I find myself feeling sad or angry that I didn't utilize my free time when there was more of it. I wish I had tried as hard as I am now just to eek out a wee bit of art.
But then I find myself here, saying, shit, I finished the map. I mean, it's not the pivotal piece of work that I hoped I'd be doing after college. But hey, I have been really trying my best here. I completed my objective. And I should give myself some credit for that.
Now I am trying to decide what to do next. I have plenty of ideas, which is pretty nice. But the issue that is concerning is that I do have an idea for a body of work, but find I am completely terrified to begin. I keep saying I want to do some more of these exercises before I really invest in this body of work. I mean, I had a long dry spell before Rose was born. I feel I need to work on my technique. Oh fear, how you say funny things to me.
So, I have decided to compromise with myself. I would like to see myself working on a small still-life in order to work on technique. While at the same time I want to work on something that moves me in the direction of building my idea around a body of work. Whether it be a sketch of the painting to be painted or just miniature paintings to help inspire the main body of work.
All in all, mama artist life is going really well. There are good days and bad. But I am grateful to have all the of the support of my wonderful family here and, of course, my beautiful baby Rose. May we always inspire each other to be our best.